By Niki Trosky
Zahira was perched on the dock, watching the sun set over a choppy lake. Her feet were resting on a stepping stool and she had a fire lit in front of her. She was on day one of her four-day isolation.
She had declared a personal time out from being a mom, a wife, a teacher and a daughter.
She spent the day napping and lounging, napping and lounging. In her eyes and in her heart it had been time well spent. She had nothing on her agenda and it was creating an expansive space of relaxation in her body. She felt grateful for such a beautiful view.
While in a deep state of nothingness, Zahira heard a rustle in the bushes behind her. She turned to see a beautiful female deer coming out of the woods. The deer was so close to Zahira that it almost brushed her arm as it walked past her. Zahira’s heart skipped a beat as she watched this eloquent creature move swiftly down the rocky ledge and into the lake.
“Wow,” Zahira whispered. She was feeling quite stunned by this magical encounter. She had seen many deer in her life, but none had come so close to touching her.
The deer had not even glanced at Zahira or her bonfire. It seemed pointedly focused. It didn’t even take time to stop and drink the shallow water; it moved swiftly along the rocky beach until it was swimming.
“Wow,” Zahira repeated again. She felt quite lucky to be witnessing such a beautiful and rare moment. Her state of awe however quickly turned into a state of bewilderment. The deer showed no signs of slowing down or turning back.
“Wha?” Zahira gasped out loud to no one.
There was no destination imaginable for the deer. There was no sign of land on the horizon. There was nothing that could explain its actions. The deer travelled so far that it eventually drowned. It did not even put up a fight. It simply sunk as a white bird circled over its head.
Zahira was watching from the shore line with absolute bewilderment in her heart. She felt helpless. There was nothing she could do to help it. She wasn’t even sure it wanted help. It appeared the deer had been on a sacrificial mission.
“What the f***?!” she said out loud more than once. “Holy s***.”
She had no one to witness this with her. She had no one to talk to about it. She paused to feel the immediate environment. Was there a sign of something disturbing in the air? Would the forest feel rattled? Would the air feel sad? Would the creatures of the night be equally confused?
All she could sense was a great sense of calm and peace. There were no traces of this deer in the air. Its life had completely vanished with the waves. The forest was still singing in the twilight. The air was starting to sparkle with the first few stars to make an appearance.
Everything was in equilibrium. It helped Zahira find her own sense of peace.
She spent the rest of the weekend honouring herself. She sunk into a graceful and child-like state of being. She found her own rhythm and flow. Her intuition was activated into a powerful state of abundance. She felt like she had won the lottery.
When she came home, she immediately researched the deer as a totem animal. There were three common words that spread through every reading. Grace, intuition, and abundance.
She felt a gentle shock wave move through her heart. These qualities had been gifted to Zahira. Perhaps they were gifts from her deer friend. Perhaps the death in one graceful creature gave birth to abundance in another.
Zahira’s heart takes comfort in knowing that this deer had no fear in its own death. Its transition into the non-physical was clear and powerful.
She gives thanks that she was able to bear witness to such a rare and beautiful passing. She is touched that the deer came so close to touching her.
She was on its direct path and now its death has forever touched her own life.