Just do it. Just say no.

Kiss those "energy vampires" goodbye. You know the ones who suck the positive energy right out of you. Photo by Alex F
Kiss those “energy vampires” in your life goodbye. You know the ones who suck the positive energy right out of you. Photo by Alex F
Note to Self - Faye Armstrong
Note to Self – Faye Armstrong

There are lots of ways to say “no.” Nuh-uh. Thanks, but no thanks. Ummm, nope! N-O. No.
So why is it so darn hard to say? Sometimes we do things we don’t want to do because we have a responsibility to do it, or to help a brotha out. That’s all good.
But when you’re finding yourself saying “yes” every time out of obligation, we need to talk. When you say yes to giving in to what you don’t want, you are saying no to your best self!
Energy Vampires
Whether you were Team Jacob or Team Edward, the vampire craze is so over – especially when it comes to what I like to call “energy vampires”: those toxic people who drain us of our positive energy.
It could be that they are consciously trying to bring you down, or they’re just constantly complaining and raining on your parade.
Whatever the case, eliminating negative entities from your life will make room for more positive people and energy. Cutting someone out of your life might seem harsh, and is not always the answer, but sometimes people serve a purpose in our life for a time and then their contract with us is up.
In those cases, you can best serve each other by parting ways (think “conscious uncoupling” like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin).
If Debbie Downer is someone who you simply cannot cut from your team, put up blocks. Limit your time with this person where possible, and when you do have to be around them, spend a few minutes beforehand (or during!) putting up emotional boundaries.
You can do this by meditating on an image or mantra that emanates feelings like control, protection, happiness; whatever reminds you that YOU are in the driver’s seat of your emotions – not them.
Too much of a good thing
OK, so you’ve said buh-bye to your toxic relationships and now you’re flooded with other opportunities and barely have enough time in the day to get it all done. Nice problem to have, right?
Slow down there, future CEO. It can be tempting to say yes to every opportunity that comes your way, but if you want to do your best work, you’re going to have to prioritize.
Look at your options alongside your goals. Which ones line up? Which ones do you feel really excited about? Choose the things that really resonate with you and your vision, and put the rest on hold or scrap it all together.
It’s important to say yes to opportunities, but you don’t have to say yes to everything that presents itself.
No means no
You know what you need to say, but how do you say it? Here are a few tips:
∙Be direct without blowing them off. “I’d love to help, but I’m not the best person for this/it’s not something I can take on at this time/I really have my hands full with X right now.” Chances are, they’ll appreciate your honesty and would probably rather you say no if you can’t give it your all anyway.
∙Practice makes perfect! Practice saying no with a friend or even by yourself, going through all the potential scenarios of what could happen if you say no. It’s probably not as bad as you think.
∙Keep your eyes on the prize. Keep your goals top of mind. It’s a lot easier to say no to people and situations when you can clearly see that they don’t align with your vision.
∙No means… yes? Remember that saying no to one thing also means saying yes to something else. It might be more time with your family, more energy to devote to a project that you’re passionate about, or simply more room in your life for what truly makes you happiest. And that’s something worth saying yes to!
Faye Armstrong is a life coach based in Winnipeg who is passionate about living life to the fullest and helping others do the same. For a little motivation or to learn more about personal coaching, visit http://www.fayeaarmstrong.com.

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